i heart.....JT

i heart....shadows

basico stairwell

i heart...pch

sunday. 5 pm. california.

i heart....cute smarty pants musicians

it seems like i went to a lot of shows last month. i had every intention of writing in depth reviews along with some music but somehow the month came and went and now i am busy and tired and busy and i have a new camera that is occupying my time. so here's my report:
sufjan stevens. cute. smart. pretty music. has been referred to as "research paper rock". i like it. someone yelled out "danny devito" in between songs during this show. that made me laugh (dd happens to be a fan and was in attendance that eve). oh yeah, ss wore butterfly wings along with the 15 or so other people in his orchestra. it was nice. baby dayliner. one man. many styles. handsome. smart. funny. "a dance party for sexy intellects". you may ask yourself "does that describe me and my friends?" the answer is yes! (in all fairness we may not be intellects but we sure are smart enough to love a sexy dance party....right?) go get his album "critics pass away".

i heart....milestones

chances are, if you are an ifive reader, i know where you were and what you were doing one year ago. you were in palm springs with all of your closest pals for a very special wedding. i am feeling nostalgic today and just wanted to take a moment to wish shmoops and bunny a happy anniversary...here's to one year! i heart you guys!
(i'd also like this to serve as a friendly reminder to those of you who, like me, have been jerks and have not yet given a gift to the happy couple...the year is up so get on it!)

i heart....el mime combat

a while ago my pal tom and i discovered that we've both had the odd (but fortunate) experience of pissing off a clown. my story involved me unintentionally cutting off a small red yugo on the 405. i looked in my rearview mirror to offer a friendly wave as if to say "sorry" when i was stricken by the violent image of a large and scary clown screaming and flipping me off from inside the small red vehicle...
tomtom told me the tale of a work trip to mexico where he witnessed a clown making out with a teenage girl. naturally tom did what anyone else would do in that moment and took a picture. the smooching clown noticed this, did not like it and wanted to fight my friend for documenting his intimate moment...

tom has since returned to mexico and he checked in with me via IM yesterday. the following is the chat that ensued:

him: i am so in mexico for the next month
me: for a month!?
me: when do you leave?
him: i'm here already
me: are you getting in fights with any mexican clowns?
him: not this time - but i only just got here yesterday
me: well i look forward to many stories
him: i'm all about getting agro with mime artists these days
me: "if i wasn't stuck in this imaginary glass box your ass would so be going down!"
me: "you are dead meat once i reach the end of my imaginary neverending hanky!"
him: you just made me laugh out loud in the factory office. i can't explain the joke to mexicans
me: thinking of you trying to explain it is making me laugh out loud
me:"so...it's a box
it's clear...
claro"
him: oh shit -
me: you can't see it
him: claro means bright
me: oh
him: like "una vasso"
but square..
and i'm stuck in it see...?
(mime being stuck in a water glass)
me: but what's funny about it is i am an ANGRY mime
and i want to beat you up
oh- you don't know what a mime is?
my face is black and white and i dont' talk
only with my manos
him: my cheeks hurt
me: yo non hablo
only con mi manos
solo con mi manos!!!
him: i have given up trying to hide my laughter
they can just stare away
me: i recall our last chat was mostly in french
him: write the blog about it!
me: i love when we get bilingual
me: so today's haiku is all about the mime?
him: languages, angry mime, not hiding the laughter
faux languages
me: tres bueno
him: franglais, spanglish

him: i am going to go read for a bit.
me: ok, i guess i will work
me: or
me: work on my spanish mime combat haiku
him: have your people call my people some time, K? Ciao
me: keep in touch
him: yes - love to hear more about your project. fax a copy to my office


tom, this is the most poetic follow up i could have ever wished for:

i heart....coodzie

i was traveling last week which is why i missed haikuesday...did you?
i was in new york visiting one lady brenner for her birthday. although it is a few days late i thought it would only be appropriate to honor her by declaring this haikuesday as "HI-COODZ!" day.

BERRY STAINED LIPS
SUCCESSFUL CRUISING, TIGHT SLACKS.
UNOBTAINABLE!
_______________________________________________

(as a follow up, i recieved an email from my mother today that fit today's theme perfectly. i just had to adapt into a haiku on behalf of mama faux and add it to the original post):

have you heard of this?
the KISS toothbrush, plays music.
wouldn't coodz love it?!

i heart....plastic fantasies

it is a very sad day for this classic urban garden dweller. apparently the florida company that makes the pink plastic flamingo is going out of business. i suggest you promptly go out and set yourself up with a pair to stick in the yard just in time for the holidays....

speaking of plastic icons i had the pleasure of meeting this fellow over the weekend. patrick muldoon. you might recognize him from the popular soap opera "days of our lives" or "melrose place". i think his most pivotal role was as kelly's boss/love interest on "saved by the bell" back in the day. i have nothing particularly interesting to report other than the fact that he is a terrible dancer and despite much begging and pleading on his part, did not come home with me for the evening. trick? or treat? you decide.

i heart....spooky things

halloween is in a week. i am not the kind of person who gets excited about halloween really. however i am the kind of person who gets excited upon making amazing discoveries such as websites for wonderful old album covers AND spooky sounds. click on any album cover and you can listen to/download any haunted spooky sound effect or track you could ever dream of. this should come in handy to any of you hosting a halloween party and/or haunted house this coming weekend....or for any of you looking for background music for your next dinner party (the ghouls, screeching cats and tongues being pulled out should inspire plenty of conversation...especially if it happens to be the middle of march).

i've also been waiting for the perfect time to post this picture. some of you may recognize it as our favorite spooky doll that was found buried underground at the lodge by our brave friend steve. even though the day is almost over, it is still haikuesday. this week's theme is "spooky".

CLIP-CLOP-CLIP-CLOP....GOES
THE CLEAN CREEPY HAUNTED DOLL
COMING TO GET YOU!

i heart...rumours

over the weekend i had a nice chat on the phone with a new friend of mine (i will call him bill "z") the conversation that took place inspired one of the finest altered album covers i've ever laid eyes on. naturally i had to share it with you. thanks bill "z" for your keen observations and also for your incredible photo shop skills. this is something i-five readers will truly treasure and behold.
this is also appropriate considering that there was a rumour going around at the party on saturday that our friend "liz" looked like stevie nicks. considering the circumstances i am forced to make this week's haiku theme:"renaissance rock".

YE OLDE TAMBOURINE
SATIN RIBBONS FLOW FREELY
AGAINST CRUSHED VELVET

i heart....surprises

so i lied when i said i'd be home over the weekend crying in my champagne. you see, it had to be done in order fool a few friends and then surprise them by showing up in ohio for the fall ball. without going into too much detail here are a few highlights: red wine, a scratched back, a ripped shirt, dance tracks, a broken disco ball and the best JT "futuresexlovesounds" cover re-enactment ever. (and that was just the 5 of us on friday night...the night before the official dance party). i also ate a buckeye, have a new best friend (shane spencer) and have returned back to california knowing that i am loved in columbus.it was one of the best core-core reunions in recent history (save for the fact that a few key members were missing, but we will make up for that in mexico next month). i heart my pals. we really do make one of the best "human groups" around...

i heart....dancing

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that it's haikuesday. the theme is "dance"...

IF YOU WERE LUCKY,
I'D MEET YOU ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
LUCITE MEETS LACQUER.

i heart.....fall's balls

if you happen to be in ohio this weekend consider yourself very very lucky. two of i-five's best pals rickles and tomtom will be hosting the first ever annual fall ball with a special guest appearance by newyorkwhiteclutch...it's going to be hot. white hot. i'll be crying in my canned champagne while all of my most fashionable friends are dancing their hearts out in the slickest new dancehall the midwest has ever seen.
no discussion of things related to fashion and dancing would be complete without a shout out to one of my favorite shirts of all time...why this article of clothing never reached critical levels of mass consumption is beyond me.

dancedancedance your heart out without me ohio.

i heart....cinespia

it's october which brings to mind all things spooky (and all things love according to my horoscope. but that was covered in the last post).
although it is over for the season, one of my favorite spooky discoveries in l.a. is cinespia and it goes like this: it's saturday, you and your pals stock up on fromage and vino (and kfc if you are the friend of a friend in the group). despite the traffic, you make your way over to the "hollywood forever" cemetery. after entering you walk through the grounds, passing perfectly manicured gravesites, one very different from the next, yet all as glossy and ostentatious as would be expected only in a hollywood cemetary.
your destination is the outdoor "theatre" marked by a large stretch of fresh grass facing the facade of the largest building on the property. upon selecting the perfect patch of grass you release your blankets into the air and watch them settle across it. this becomes the station for your food and wine and where you will gradually resign yourself to a comfortable position for the next few hours. it's right around dusk so you don't need to light any candles just yet.
a dj plays night time party music, the kind of NTPM you and your friends are willing to tolerate. kind of like when you are at a sushi restaurant and think that mild airy electronic techno crap makes perfect sense. this is different because you are outside on a lovely summer evening, the sun is setting and you are in a cemetery for heaven's sake. NTPM never sounded so good, right?
after the sun has gone down, the music fades out and the film of the week begins, none better than the last and all well revered classics. this is only proper considering where you are; watching the stars, under the stars, amongst the stars.

my favorite cinespia experience was the night of "the night of the hunter"...if you like things that are beautiful and scary and you are familiar with chiaroscuro, then i suggest you put it on your netflix right away. oddly enough, the preacher in this movie was the first dude to rock the "love/hate" across the knuckles. hell yeah!

and if that's not enough, you can pay respect to this guy on your way out...(the bust is much better in person, believe me)...one word of advice to first timers: don't leave too late or you'll end up wandering around the grounds in the dark, alone, looking for your car, panicking at the possibility that you and your friend might be locked in "hollywood forever" forever (or at least for the night).

spooky? no. wonderful? yes.

i heart....love

this week's haikuesday theme revealed itself to me upon reading the first few lines of my october horoscope...

"After working yourself to the bone, October brings a wildly romantic month. With the Sun, gentle Venus, and Mars all jazzing your sector of true love, , and a new moon to make an appearance on October 22 in the very same part of your chart, this month should set the stage for a deliciously romantic phase"

so, naturally, the theme for the first week of october is: "love". and because i heart my i five readers i am giving you an option...you can go with "love", or you can go with whatever theme emerges in your october horoscope. big thanks to susan miller for giving me enough material to craft the kick off haiku:

TO THE BONE, WILDLY!
GENTLE VENUS...JAZZ...TRUE LOVE...
A DELICIOUS PHASE.

i heart....helping hands

i'm very excited because tonight "i five" pals rogue wave will be playing a show right here in la (along with jason collett from broken social scene)...on the other hand i bummed that i will be missing a very special show hosted by the band this saturday in san francisco. the event is an effort to raise money for pat, RW's drummer, who is in desperate need of a kidney transplant. the evening will feature performances by rogue wave, ben gibbard (death cab for cutie), matthew caws (nada surf), ryan miller (guster), john vanderslice, and other special guests. regardless of whether or not you can make it to this special event, please be kind and make a donation. g. le bron would be happy to know that we're supporting the cause...

i heart....schmoops

i can't believe it's haikuesday again already?! i would like to thank diddy for posting the one and only rokken entry. it truly ruled.

i wish had time to write more but like the rest of you i am very busy today. this week's theme? "happy birthday schmoopy loopy"

MOTHER F'N CLARK
LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE TOOL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAL

i heart....texas?

so as i mentioned in my last post, i was in austin for the weekend. and it was ausome. here are a few highlights:
- checked into the four seasons friday night at the same time as gnarls barkley and fiona apple. instant confirmation that i was in for a wacky time indeed.
- spent my time on the festival grounds "working" (translation: all access passes, free drinks and golf carts with drivers that will take you to the back/side stage of any band you want to see. ensuring you barely even have to walk or even step foot in the hot hot sun) brilliant.
- the shins show at stubb's. god bless the shins. they played a few tracks from their new album which is going to rule. trust me.
- junior boys at emo's lounge. i like them a lot. they have a new album out and their live show was great. (i bet i know at least one person who will be playing this in their freshly lacquered garage/dance hall, rickles).
- sparklehorse has a new album coming out the end of this month and it is great. they played at emo's sat night and i loved every minute of it.
- saw willie nelson too, seeing him in texas was a special treat. judging from this story he and his pals must have had a crazy weekend in austin as well...
- had a breakfast taco delivered to me in hotel room bed from my favorite place that i can't remember the name of (thanks again a.s.) if anyone is ever in austin and wants to go there i'd be more than happy to provide you with directions from the hotel...
-wrapped things up sunday night in the lobby bar with lots of champagne, wasabi peas, and everyone from ween to lance armstrong...the four seasons will never be the same.

all in all it was a wonderful weekend...and from what i hear lance and jake really enjoyed themselves too. if anyone can track down a picture of matthew mcconaughey "dancing" (translation: flapping his arms in the air in a bird-like fashion and pounding himself on the chest as if playing the bongos) that would rule. thanks.

i heart....rokken

happy haikuesday (number two). sorry for lagging. i was rokken in austin for the last few days at the acl music festival. today has been very busy for me havven just gotten bakken the office and all, so please forgive me for not posten today's theme earlier...
since i am still recovering from a long and awesome weekend filled with lots of great music (and adult beverages of course)....the theme for this week is "rockin".

TALKIN WITH DOKKEN?
THAT WAS ME AT THE RAINBOW
WAY BACK IN '02

(awesome photo courtesy of the general...you rock!)

i haiku....comebacks

i have two important announcements to make:

first off, today marks the release of the long awaited futuresex/lovesounds and in case you haven't heard, JT is bringing SEXY BACK. (thank you justin. we've missed it).

the second (and more important) announcement is that i, JF, am bringing HAIKU BACK in the form of "haikuesday". it goes like this: it's tuesday, i pick a theme, i post a haiku, a haiku-off then takes place in the comments section. that's right, the haiku-off is BACK ON and it is time to submit your entries. and since it's back, this weeks theme is "sexy". are you ready?
as a proper kick off, here's an original haiku straight from the archives
(circa july 2002, "JJ+JT" by h. diddy)

JANET JACKSON, WHAT
HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?
EXCEPT STEAL MY MAN!

whatever you do, just don't call it a comeback!

i heart....giants

ok, i admit it. i pretty much suck at this blogging thing (that is if the criteria for not sucking means posting entries daily or at least more frequently than once a week). this will change, i promise...but that is not what this post is about. it is about giants. it was between that or balloons. but giants became the obvious choice upon coming across the little girl giant.

on saturday night i went to the lovely avalon in hollywood to see one of my favorite musicians, miss leslie feist. despite being a little lady she is a giant talent. if you don't have it already i suggest you go get her album "let it die". now.


shepard fairy is another artist that i admire very much...some of you might know him better as the mastermind behind the obey giant campaign...he has a solo show in l.a. starting september 16th. i am going to check it out and so should you

i heart....sunshine

this is matt costa. he is a musician and a pal. and i think you might agree that he is pretty dang cute. i like matt and his music so much that i actually went all the way to disneyland on saturday night to see him play (and yes, that did require some time on i-5 on my part). check out his new video for the song sunshine... (anyone recognize that turquoise couch?)


on a separate note, i finally saw little miss sunshine over the wekend. most of the film takes place on a road trip to southern california and it has a very simple message (not unlike the theme of this blog), find reason to celebrate the beauty in even the most effed up situations. it's pretty awesome and i suggest you go see it. if not for anything other than the charming character dwayne and his touching handwritten notes like the one reading "i hate everyone"....

i heart....motivation

i know you are blown away by the beauty of this poster, you might be more blown away when i reveal that i created it all by myself (yes, i took that photo driving back to la from sf)! if you are feeling inspired i invite you to create your own motivational poster...

i heart....gorman

for those of you who aren't familiar with this piece....it is a gorman. it is THE gorman. purchased in 2002 at the alameda flea market (not without some aggressive bargaining) and lovingly hung in the living room of 28 steiner where it graced the green walls for over 2 years. after that time, the gorman was (delicately) packed up and shipped to southern california (via i-five i imagine) where it is now on view as a part of the permanent collection at lily court.

the glory of the gorman is a controversial topic that will continue to inspire passionate debates for years to come (or at least as long as it is hanging in my kitchen whenever my mom comes to visit...)

i heart....i five

so i've been living in la for over 2 years now. i guess that makes me an official resident. in an effort to embrace and better appreciate the la experience i have decided to start a blog. yes, a blog. those of you reading this might be asking yourselves "what has happened to our little faux faux?" and "what the hell is a blog?". for you, my friends, my "core-core", i have prepared a brief q & a...

Q: why "i heart i five"?
A: inspired by the drive from la to sf.
in certain slants of light, something otherwise dreadful and ugly can be striking and beautiful.

Q: why should i read "i heart i five"?
A: duh. blogs are so hot right now. also for the haiku...

Q: what if i have something to say?
A: post a comment. i encourage comments, particularly from the "core-core" audience.
in addition, i am working on starting up a group blog called "low hanging fruit"....please contact me for details.

Q: Do you have any RAPS for this blog?
A: Yes.

PURPOSE: to provide "social commentary" via web log
APPROACH: blog my heart out on topics ranging from (but not limited to): fashion, food, music, neat stuff, wine and spirits, sweet spots, weather, traffic and sharks!
CRITICAL RESULT: you enjoying the shit out of the insightful and provocative nuggets found here on "i heart i five"